i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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