I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
