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a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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