my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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