I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
