oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Your penis caused this!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
