My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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