Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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