How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
