he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
