he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
