my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
