Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize