either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
