I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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