Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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