I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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