NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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