Non-Jews are for practice
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Let's get the cat blown out
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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