There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
