it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
