how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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