So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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