i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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