as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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