how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
