It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
