Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
