Your tits are I can't wait for
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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