We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
