Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize