he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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