i permit you to call me
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I believe in your delicious
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