there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
