I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
