I molested 6 butterflies tonight
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
