this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
