No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
