You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Is Oprah even human
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
