...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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