clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
