Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
