So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
