Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
