yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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