My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
