So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
