why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
