Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
