Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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