I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
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