Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
