Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
