It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
