just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize