Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
