Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Randomize
