Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
