How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
