After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
