im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
