omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
