No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
