ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
