I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
