At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize