I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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