matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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