you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
