You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
