can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
