So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
