I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
