if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
